Ninjas versus Pirates
by SpikeyGirl
Summary: Who is better Ninjas or Pirates, the ultimate battle, who will emerge victorious? Itachi and Deidara risk their lives battling Jack Sparrow and Will Turner. CRACK. Crossover with POTC and the real world. One-shot.


In honour of National Talk Like A Pirate day 19th of September 2008 in England which me and my friend dressed up as pirates for. The amount of looks we got from teachers was higher than my average grade.

(Redone November 5th '10 for spelling and grammatical errors)

* * *

Two friends were working in a chemistry class room. They were both dressed as pirates. They had their plastic swords on the sides so they wouldn't knock over the corrosive chemicals they were working with.

These two girls were the only two in the class room dressed as pirates. They weren't surprised at he looks they were getting, they had been getting them all day.

The reason why?

It was National Talk Like A Pirate day. The two friends, being in 6th form and thus not required to wear uniform, had taken it a step further. Hence the reason they were dressed as pirates.

"Pass the conc' HCl," asked one friend as she washed out the conical flask from the trial experiment they had just done. The other girl obliged and handed over the glass bottle. They were wary of the rest of the class, they were the only two girls in the class room and the guys were pretty annoying.

They had a habit of getting squeezy bottles of distilled water and squirting it in someone's pocket. So when someone put their hands in their pockets they would find it damp. That and they both were wearing thin white shirts tied up around their waists like women in the times of pirates may have done.

"Why don't they have a National Ninja day?" asked the other friend aloud.

"Because pirates are better," answered the other one.

"Are not. Ninjas are awesome," said the Ninja supporter.

"Pirates have swords and guns and sail around in boats. How can ninjas be better?"

"They have more grace, they don't go around waving a sword around like a child hitting grass with a stick."

"They have a brilliant sense of style, at least they don't were all black skin tight clothes."

"But you aren't supposed to see them though, they're ninjas."

"You only like ninjas because you watch too much Naruto."

"Ok, so. Anime ninjas are hot. You don't see hot pirates do you."

"What about from pirates of the Caribbean. Will was pretty hot."

"He has to be gay."

"What? How is he gay?" spluttered the pirate obsessed friend. The ninja girl was just glad her friend had put the chemicals down before trying to throttle her.

"Have you seen the ways he looks at Jack sometimes?" the ninja girl choked out, pushing her friend off.

"Your just imagining, things at least pirates have a sex life. I swear ninjas are asexual."

"Just 'cause Sasuke doesn't seem to like anyone does not make him asexual."

"It's not just Sasuke, its most of the other ones, only Jiraiya and Kakashi seem interested in girls and only really girls in books."

"What about Naruto, he's obsessed with Sakura."

"Is she really a girl? Even if she is Naruto could be in denial."

"Most pirates must be gay though, they spend so much time at sea with no women on board, what else would they do to keep sane."

"Will isn't gay!" protested the pirate friend, not being about to think of a suitable comeback.

"Do you know that for certain?"

"No, but I know it must be true."

"You fail at convincing me, in fact you fail at life as a pirate, and you must convert to ninjaism at once to save yourself from the scum that are piratists!" mock announced the ninjas obsessed friend gaining the attention of the class, finally.

"Never! I challenge you to a duel to up hold my honour as a pirate!"

"Pirates have no honour!"

"Neither do ninjas!"

"At least they don't pretend to be honest, ninjas just kill and they do it in style with cool weapons."

"So what? Pirates have cool accessories like eye patches and wooden legs."

"Because they suck at fighting so much they kept getting crippled by their own weapons."

"That's it. You, me, outside, standard rules, we fight to decide who's better the amazing pirates or the crappy ninjas."

"Lets go!" The two friends hadn't actually noticed the rest of the class had stopped working to watch their little spat. They had followed the two friends to the 'field of honour' (the biggest playing field on campus).

"Chose your weapons," boomed the pirate friend.

"I chose Itachi Uchiha from Naruto and Deidara of the Rock also from Naruto!" yelled the ninja friend.

"I chose Jack Sparrow from pirates of the Caribbean and Will Turner from pirates of the Caribbean!" declared the pirate friend.

There was a glow of mystical light in four separate spots and to the classes amazement the mentioned fictional characters appeared. The two friends were un-amazed, it had happened before. Last year they had had the same argument.

The two ninjas narrowed their eyes at the two pirates and the two pirates growled at the two ninjas.

"For the ninjas!" yelled the two ninjas from Naruto as they got ready to attack using their Justus.

"For the pirates!" yelled the two Caribbean pirates as they charged with a sword and gun in hand. An explosion stopped both of the groups in their tracks.

"STOP!" yelled a voice, everyone turned to see the chemistry teacher. It seemed he had made a crude but loud set of explosives using the chemicals.

"I will not allow this behaviour when you have left the lab in a mess, you may continue this one you have cleared up, some of the chemicals are volatile remember."

There was a louder explosion behind them and they saw the science building. Well, they saw where it had been and a load of smoking ruins…

"Oops," said the two friends in unison. In the place that used to be their class room a girl stood, she didn't like either pirates or ninjas and had been trying to sabotage the pirate/ninja obsessed friends experiment. Unfortunately she had failed chemistry and been banned from the labs before because she couldn't tell the difference between a steel and sodium. The two groups of summoned fictional characters were looking confused now.

"What are we doing here anyway?"

"Uh, me and my friend wanted to settle an argument about who was better ninjas or pirates"

"Ok, and where's the rum?"

"We don't have rum, I suppose we might have vodka, if we don't we could make some."

"Sounds good."

"I could go for something alcoholic," groaned the teacher.

"To the other lab that wasn't blown up," proclaimed one of the friends. The class and fictional characters headed to the other building with a lab in it.

"Ok I have to admit though, pirates have the right idea getting drunk all the time," said the ninja friend.

"And ninjas are good at games for playing while drunk," admitted the pirate friend.

* * *

They never did find out who was better, they probably would try again next year.


End file.
